Posted on 19-08-2011
Filed Under (Random Musings) by Steve

Just a quick post rather more of a pointer but I have often found this – not that I always find myself in this predicament but ever notice how difficult it is to wee on a train?

And by wee on a train I actually mean by using the public conveniences – the fact remains that to do so when standing up is virtually impossible and leaves one feeling as though they are completely and utterly sozzled!

This is actually brilliant if you are someone like me; it means that I can park my car at the station (I do live 8 miles away), go to London for a night out, remain on the Robinsons (Apple and Blackberry) and still drive home completely sober safe in the knowledge that for 45 mins I can feel completely hammered and the best bit of this means… No hangover the next morning woohoo!

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Posted on 06-07-2011
Filed Under (Random Musings) by Steve

I am feeling rotten and despite working from home, I am finding it difficult to work.
I don’t usually suffer man-flu (yesterday I had a fever and was running a temperature of at least 100) today, I feel even worse (without the burning-up bit) so due to no longer being able to concentrate on my work (I am a data analyst and suddenly 100M rows of data don’t make much sense) I sent the following to Pip (Perks/Perky is the male one of our three cats):

Subject: gargh…!

It hurts.

I am now officially off ill; so much for my plans of catch-up on my stuff and be strong to kick its bottom – feeling worse than yesterday (without the fever).

Got cough and sore throat, my snot rag is brimming – the cats think I’m a freak every time I blow my nose, I have no strength or resolve – Perks just looked at me whilst I was tucking-in to a slice of Soreen and so I felt compelled/obliged to feed him and the house still needs to be sorted out – its all gone wrong.

On another point at least I smell nice…

Pip’s response was:

1 – you are a freak so they cats aren’t looking at you in a new way
2 – My dear perks will get fat if you keep feeding him – give him a little treat if you really must (only a little one though)
3 – Are you sure the soreen is safe?
4 – its good you smell nice now:)



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Posted on 06-07-2011
Filed Under (Complaints) by Steve

I hate laminate flooring!

I used to love it; I love that modern clean look it gives, the fact that there is not an essence of dirt on it, and the fact that it smells better than carpet.

I loved the fact that friends would come to the house and admire not just the house and layout but also look at the fresh impact of wood/laminate over carpet,

But I hate it now.

The dirt doesn’t stick to it (and by dirt I mean hair (Pip’s / the cats)). I know what you are thinking, better to have the dirt where its easiest to pick-up than having it embedded in the carpets for weeks WELL I DISAGREE WITH YOU!!

Get yourself a good vacuum – we have been using a Vax for a while, yes its worn but it could still cope with 2 dogs and three cats and Pip, we were planning on getting a Dyson for an even bigger impact and even better cleanliness. We could get away with hoovering twice weekly and cleaning the carpets (using a RugDoctor) twice yearly – sounds like a lot of work I hear you say, well yes, it is but, no-where near as much work as with bloody laminate all over the sodding house (oh and we are renting btw 2 weeks into a 52 week contract so no changes there).

The dirt and hair gets EVERYWHERE! To keep it clean you must clean it daily and by this I mean using either the hoover on its highest brush setting (lest you want the dirt thrown across the room and not up the pipe) or manually with a dust-pan and brush, then you need to mop it; and lets not forget the 30-minute effect the same as that at uni:

I like washing-up, always have, I find it very therapeutic, a chance to unwind and think whilst my hands and eyes do something repetitive and monotonous – I wash-up with my finger-tips so that I can feel the dirt even when it is not visible; its for these reasons that I refuse to get a dishwasher (and the added cost, and that to be economical the dishwasher may only be used twice per day when to wash-up a plate, knife, fork & cup could be done in only half a bowl – I digress); anyway, so there I would be working my way through I mountain of washing-up, I would have finished it, stand back to look at my now clean a sparkly kitchen when one of my housemates would come along and drop more stuff for washing even when they would know I was doing the washing – how infuriating is that??!

Which brings me firmly back to cleaning laminate over carpet, when cleaning carpet and someone drops dirt over it, you are most likely not going to notice and true the dirt could become entangled in the fibres but following a twice-yearly carpet cleaning regime will ensure a healthy carpet; now compare this to laminate; you’ve just spent an hour vacuuming and mopping the floor when someone inadvertently molts some of there hair over it, not only will you have a now messy floor but you’ll have a bloody hard time trying to clean it as the hair will not stick to the floor like it would carpet.

I hate laminate flooring!

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Posted on 05-07-2011
Filed Under (Random Musings) by Steve

Trying to pee whilst on a moving train!

This is just about one of the only times that a man has to bite the bullet and become a girl for two minutes – trying to pee whilst standing really is not happening no matter how hard you try – its like trying to pee drunk.


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Posted on 29-06-2011

Just to set the record straight as it seems as though I have earned a name for myself.

Its not that I dislike Nando’s, rather I just cannot see the point.

Everyone bangs on about it as though its the greatest thing since sliced bread but I just cannot see the point – its just chicken served at hugely over-inflated prices!

If you really want to ‘dine-out’ on chicken, maybe consider the cheaper alternative of KFC but who in their right mind would spend £39.95 on two whole chickens and 5 sides (chips, spicy rice, coleslaw, corn on the cob, garlic bread, peas or mash).1 Taking a trip to Tesco (or your favourite  supermarket) and you could get that lost for considerably cheaper (at least 50%) and you would still have enough for your own seasonings/marinades and some alcohol.

So to re-iterate, its not that I don’t like it, I just won’t pay through the nose for something that I can do better (and cheaper) myself.

  1. Nandos menu visited 05/07/2011
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